Dag 546 prove myself.

Prove myself sounds like Things has to go and people have to behave in accordance with what I have in mind. If things go differently as I suppose in my mind, Then I can react unreasonably. And then I avoid contact with the world around me.

I realize see and understand that I Got used to the patronizing spoils of my mind expectation.

I realize see and understand that I behave harsh when things not goes decent as the way I have in mind.

I realize see and understand that Any interpretation a personally reasoned judgment is about the meaning of an/ones observation.

Selfhonestly Selfforgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am walking around with the expectation I feel uncomfortable.

For context please See previous blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking when others behave decent is comfortable and effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I behave harsh when things goes differently as expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I manifest harshness and avoid people my social circle is getting smaller and smaller with the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in my past life I speed up so that I could prove others achieved my version of success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that in that there was impatience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I feel harshness because wanting succes went differently as expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience fear of not making it ‘succes’ when things goes differently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience Fear of my thoughts I do not having enough money to get there where I want to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I react with harshness because of my fear of being seen as failure after the succes was gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted ‘I’m a loser after I lost the control of my succes and life.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my daily author the sentence ‘I’m a loser after I lost the control of my succes and life.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that thinking I’m a loser, lost the control of my succes so my life no longer has direction and no sense.

https://www.deviantart.com/tag/angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I yesterday was expecting to see my ex-wife at the funeral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I still thinking my ex-wife will blame me again when I meet here at the funeral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am expecting here she will act the same way as she did after we divorced when she was patronizing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am expecting she will say again to me at a patronizing way: ‘you are a loser’ then she turned here face away and smiled with a favorable look in here eyes and hate in here voice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I experience I’m patronizing myself, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand that I patronize myself before I went to places where I expect meeting people who will start patronizing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that in my opinion the world is thinking ‘you are a loser.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I only visit safe places where I’m sure I do not meet people which look at me and tell me whit there eys ‘hello loser’.

Knowing in theory is something different then walking commitment in here.

If and when I am thinking I’m a loser, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand that I think about how others will think and behave when they meet me.

I commit myself to stop thinking for another I have to tame my thinking for another.

I commit myself that I have to tame my thinking I’m a loser.

Dag 483 Oprecht Zeen.

Oprecht Gewaarzijn: mijn innerlijk bewustzijn oprecht onder ogen zien en ‘herkennen’.

Binnen het Roermonds en Limburgs dialect heeft het woord ‘Zeen’ meerdere betekenissen:

Zien, het onder ogen zien.

Zijn, bestaan, worden.

Zijn, wie ik ben en wil worden.

https://nl.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/zeen

Oprecht herkennen van hetgeen zich innerlijk binnen mijn mind bewustzijn manifesteert is ‘een dingetje waaraan ik veel tijd aan en energie in investeer’.

Inmiddels realiseer ik me dat ik genoeg heb van het accepteren van de mindere versie van mezelf. Ik ben het beu om beperkingen en compromissen in mezelf te accepteren en toe te staan.

Ik ben het beu om manieren te vinden en het hoofd te bieden aan ‘minder zijn’. Dit in relatie tot mijn innerlijk weten ‘hetgeen ik praktisch kan en wil zijn’.

Ik realiseer me, zie en begrijp dat ik innerlijk middelmatigheid heb aanvaard en toegestaan, ‘hetgeen ik ben geworden in mijn denken en gedrag’, hetgeen norm en meetlat werd waarlangs ik mezelf, ‘vaak negatief’, beoordeelde.

In deze blog:

De specifieke details van het ontwerp van middelmatigheid en ‘hoe we actief onszelf en ons grotere potentieel onderdrukken en ons compromitteren aan hetgeen we innerlijk toestaan’.

Wat we hier precies kunnen beginnen te doen, ‘nu’ om de melodie te veranderen die we in onze hoofden hebben gespeeld.

In plaats van onszelf en ons potentieel te verminderen begeven we ons op een pad van groei en expansie in tegenstelling tot vermindering, teleurstelling en defeat.

Defeat:

win a victory over: “They defeated our team by three goals”
verslaan

the loss of a game, battle, race etc: “His defeat in the last race depressed him”
nederlaag

de’feated (Bijvoeglijk naamwoord)

(negativeundefeated): “a defeated enemy.”
verslagen

de’featism (Zelfstandig naamwoord)

a state of mind in which one expects and accepts defeat too easily: “The defeatism of the captain affects the rest of the players.”
defaitisme

de’featist (Zelfstandig naamwoord)

(of) a person who gives up too easily and is too easily discouraged: “She is such a defeatist”
defaitistisch

to defeat overwinnen (ww.) ; verslaan (ww.)

the defeat het verlies ; de nederlaag ; overwonnen-worden (znw.) ; de mislukking (v) ; de flop (m) ; de afgang (m) ; het fiasco ; de misser (m) ; het echec ; de verijdeling (v)

defeat bevangen ; zegevieren

EN: defeat one’s own ends

NL: zijn doel voorbijstreven

EN: own one’s defeat

NL: z. gewonnen geven

2 voorbeeldzinnen met ‘defeat

EN: That’s a very defeatist attitude! ‘Dat is een erg verslagen houding Jan’.


  1. EN: He accused me of his defeat. ‘Hij beschuldigde mij van zijn nederlaag’.

Wordt vervolgd.