Day 571 mind pops-up, up and up.

This morning I woke up with pain in my Jaws. Some minutes later I was talking via WhatsApp and ask my interlocutor ‘what are my jaws telling me, which message contains pain in the Jaws? Then my interlocutor answered ‘ask your body.’ So I started questioning myself.

But first I had to give my question back to my interlocutor, and asked here,’ but I ask you (she is therapist) ‘what are my jaws telling me?’ and reiterated my question ‘Which message contains pain in the Jaws?

Reiterate questioning That is what the information in the mind does, repeat again and again.

After I Gave my question back to her she answered ‘Most people want to argue to get right and I had been in that energy after you gave me back your question. Cute not bright.’ I respect that I wrote back to her. But her answer ‘ask your body why you experience pain in your Jaws’, now I write about my investment.

I realize see and understand it’s emotional energy I hold in my Jaws which is Created by Fierceness and Perseverance.

So, with Fortitude I hold Stuck to the discussion in my mind. The reason for this decision, I want to be appreciated for my commitment that I did my work properly. Therefore I am still longing for apologies from my colleague. For context please see my previous blog.

He is responsible for my pain because he sent me the wrong email message. Without hearing and listening to my arguments. Without listening to the reason why. Without asking me for the choice I made. So I was Furious, because in my opinion he blamed me that I didn’t do my job properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I first had to give my question back to my interlocutor because I was Longing for positive feedback and an answer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself after I asked ‘what are my jaws telling me, which message contains pain in my Jaws I started thinking why doesn’t she answer my question?’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I accuses my colleague at work en Also my WhatsApp interlocutor for not hearing me and my arguments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am thinking when people are not listening too my question or not listening too my arguments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I am thinking they do not respect me I realize see and understand this is disrespectful and my opinion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have pain in my Jaws because of the Discussion in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the discussion in my mind tells me that my argument for the discussion I made is not had no Importance at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am thinking my existence contains no Importance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I start arguing with people to show them that I own importance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the thoughts of no Importance pops up anger and willingness as thoughts Fight with my colleague.

If and when I am thinking about fight my colleague, then I Stop my mind noise and Breath.

I realize see and understand that I want to achieve and proof myself that I have importance because I accepted and allowed myself to think and experience my self as ‘I’m not important.’

I realize see and understand that that I first had to give my question back to my interlocutor because I am interested in her way of thinking and the method she uses in her work.

I realize see and understand that when I am arguing, is my emotional willingness to get positive feedback from others instead of people starts complaining without asking me about the arguments of the decision I made which was the reason why my colleague sent me the email Message.

I realize see and understand that that I experience physical pain in my Jaws because of the emotional state within my unconsciousness as accepted existence created By the energy of arguments within the allowance arguing as words, thoughts and opinions I did not faced.

I commit myself that I will investing my mind with the support of writing, honest self-forgiveness, Stop myself and Breath, realize see and understanding into self directing, selfhonest Beingness walks.

I commit myself that I walk this process with the support of my Buddy, the Destonian Buddy’s of the past and EQAFE materials.

I commit myself that I instead of mind pops-up, up and up will and shall direct myself.

Destonians.

Day 569 Getting critique

Getting critique, wich means you felt you were doing it ‘right’ or correctly. But doing something right from a negative feeling, or a learned fear of rejection. From out a negative perspective.

Doing it right from out negative thoughts. I feel the negative and then start doing well. Sent by, from behind the scenes, background darkness which is manifested by the negative unrighteousness. Which accepted and allowed myself to believe.

Doing it right from out the manifested feeling bad startingpoint.

I realize see and understand that I am allergic to positivity because I have a strong accepted belief that at any moment positivity can turn into negativity.

The lights will Be obscured at any moment when evil pops I expect. Because my perception after experiencing is it will pops-up from behind a customer-friendly smile.

I also was witness from the fact that this evil was ‘directed’ by alcohol consumption. But what is the reason for this alcohol abuse? That should be the head most important question. I guess.

Don’t you think? mister D…The parenting support which mister D received He passed on. As the information of his mind. Directing myself as Living substance, as Selfhonest Beingness, that is what counts best.

When the critique which Mister D received from his parenting examples, then I understand what mister D’s innerlife mind experience was. Unfortunately mister D dies. That is what I missed most. A conversation of understanding eachother.

Do you want to be your utmost Self directing principle, open up this link.