Dag 546 prove myself.

Prove myself sounds like Things has to go and people have to behave in accordance with what I have in mind. If things go differently as I suppose in my mind, Then I can react unreasonably. And then I avoid contact with the world around me.

I realize see and understand that I Got used to the patronizing spoils of my mind expectation.

I realize see and understand that I behave harsh when things not goes decent as the way I have in mind.

I realize see and understand that Any interpretation a personally reasoned judgment is about the meaning of an/ones observation.

Selfhonestly Selfforgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am walking around with the expectation I feel uncomfortable.

For context please See previous blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking when others behave decent is comfortable and effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I behave harsh when things goes differently as expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I manifest harshness and avoid people my social circle is getting smaller and smaller with the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in my past life I speed up so that I could prove others achieved my version of success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that in that there was impatience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I feel harshness because wanting succes went differently as expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience fear of not making it ‘succes’ when things goes differently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience Fear of my thoughts I do not having enough money to get there where I want to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I react with harshness because of my fear of being seen as failure after the succes was gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted ‘I’m a loser after I lost the control of my succes and life.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my daily author the sentence ‘I’m a loser after I lost the control of my succes and life.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that thinking I’m a loser, lost the control of my succes so my life no longer has direction and no sense.

https://www.deviantart.com/tag/angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I yesterday was expecting to see my ex-wife at the funeral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I still thinking my ex-wife will blame me again when I meet here at the funeral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am expecting here she will act the same way as she did after we divorced when she was patronizing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am expecting she will say again to me at a patronizing way: ‘you are a loser’ then she turned here face away and smiled with a favorable look in here eyes and hate in here voice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I experience I’m patronizing myself, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand that I patronize myself before I went to places where I expect meeting people who will start patronizing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that in my opinion the world is thinking ‘you are a loser.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I only visit safe places where I’m sure I do not meet people which look at me and tell me whit there eys ‘hello loser’.

Knowing in theory is something different then walking commitment in here.

If and when I am thinking I’m a loser, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand that I think about how others will think and behave when they meet me.

I commit myself to stop thinking for another I have to tame my thinking for another.

I commit myself that I have to tame my thinking I’m a loser.