When I think about ‘memory based fear’, it reminds me at situations where I developed fear. Memories where in I feel ashamed. Or memories where in I feel insecure and afraid to speak about what I need in specific circumstances.
So I started having conversations with myself, because in my mind opinion I see and hear things that are not here in reality. But what I was thinking, was.
So I remember once one of my colleagues told me that I talked confused. Afterwards I realized saw and understood that under all my rare mind statements there was/is fear and helplessness.
So In those moments I could not (as memory) and cannot (afraid of rejection from my needs) help myself and had/have no help from someone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am afraid of asking help for what I need or what I want to achieve.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did/do not have asked what I need or what I want to achieve. If and when I am thinking about I do not have/I will not ask where I am longing for, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand that I am afraid that I will receive rejection from others. I realize see and understand that I will receive rejection from others for my needs as long as I think ‘I will receive rejection for my needs as a response from others when I ask something.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I will receive rejection for my needs as a response from others when I ask something.’ If I am aware of my response that others will reject what I need, then I Stop and Breath. I realize see and understand I think ‘what I need’ is unimportant because I am not important enough.
So for now because I support myself I have to give and commit myself what is important for me.
Next blog questions
Next questions pops-up into my mind awareness ‘what is important’? And ‘am I important’ or perhaps ‘why am I not important because of who I am, what I do and what role I play.’
Thanks for reading.
We say Stop!
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Dalk: ‘Afrikaans’ means perhaps.