Day 594 not just right experience

Today I was controlling the other people in the supermarket kept their distance in line at the cash register. Drawn yellow stripes on the floor, The correct distance between customers that one must follow. A few days ago I sent an email to the management of the supermarket that customers cannot ‘it is not possibly keep their distance’ – keeping social distance which I desire – because too few cash registers are open. So in my opinion the employees in the store are responsible – keeping distance, which is not happen, which includes my blame/and fear – I told in my email to follow the orders of the government.

The rules for not spreading the coronavirus ‘flatten the curve, keeping one and a half meter social distance’ or other wise ‘stay at home’ and in my case be patient because of the canceled appointments.

Following rules sounds like being inferior at the orderliness. Others should Following the rules of my mind which gives me (desire) an opportunity to be able to gain calmness.

I realize see and understand that my educators been very strict Instructing there orderliness. I feel safe and secure when everyone is following the same orderliness. When things change without explanation, when people are not behave as prescribed I feel anger and frustration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself desire that others should follow the rules of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking my desire when others follow my desire is the opportunity that I’m able experience calmness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assume that people have too following the orderliness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself being inferior towards the orderliness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself control others if they follow the orderliness gives me an opportunity to be able to gain calmness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I automatically react when people do not act according to the rules which are given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking when things in my environment gives me a calm feeling I know something will happen, my expectation something will destroy my experience of calmness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have send a email message to the management of the supermarket because I experienced a ‘not just right experience.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame the employees of the supermarket that they do not check ‘the just right distance’ between customers in line in front of the cash register.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I ‘judge’ others within the context of/as having ‘less’ value/worth than me because I follow the rules.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame others not following the rules the same which I have in mind is better then the behavior of Others and so ‘breed’-Judgment within-self as a vicious cycle that ensue through comparison.


I realize see and understand that the starting-point of it all is what I’ve accepted/allowed to define as ‘who I am’ and how I’ve categorized myselve within those definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I create Separation through comparisons with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself separation/splitting of self into/as compartments – I’ve labelled certain parts/aspects of myselve in accordance to societal worth/value, creating a totally fucked-up ‘self-image’ / projection of-myselve in complete/total self-separation with/as the physical as-self, here.

Then within-That, to ‘deal’-With the energetic-reactions / inner mind-chatter in relation to self-judgment/judgment ‘totally fucked-up self image’ – self-judgement what manifests suppression and polarity, wherein – the self-created judgment is feared/resisted and then to compensate for that initial creation of/as judgment, a alternate dimensional reality is created within/as self as Desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I create self-judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I believe in self-judgement I created a alternate dimensional reality within/as self as Desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I attempt/try to fix the judgments/self-judgments through desires.

If and when I desire ‘people within my enviroment has to do as what I desire’, then I Stop myself and Breath. I realize see and understand that I blame people they has to be more Disciplined and keep social distance follow-up the rules as the goverment has instructed.

I commit myself that I investigate my desire points further stopping judgement so that I has no desire created instead.

So, to take into consideration when experiencing the Calve-Point – is have a look at self-projected mind-dimensional desires, wherein – one desire to be something / become someone and dream about it in the Mind, instead of actually living the change here in/as reality in fact.

Such desires would indicate self-judgments that hasn’t been faced, so – when you see that, for example – you desire/dream about being/others have to be disciplined, then have a look at where and why within your world you’re not living it, what is the self-judgment point you’re hiding behind-it; like for example laziness or postponement. Because, you’re thus actually feeding the polarity of judgment and desire within you, and thus the Mind – because participating in the desire/dreaming is feeding the judgment, because the desire/dreaming’s starting-point originate from the judgment in the first-place as a attempt to not face-self in reality and change in-fact.

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Day 585 procrastination

What is contributing to me so easily giving up and giving in to resistance to doing something, which leads to Procrastination?

What does it say about me and my life experience that I give up and give in to resistance so easily?

My life resistance gets manifested by my thoughts that I missed unconditional attention. Such as the cup of thee after school. So I was longing for positive feedback positive understanding for my feelings and needs and physical Affection Such as a hugg.

In moments Where I got a hugg from my aunt then my grandfather ruled my aunts affection behavior with criticism. He looked with a strange face and Experienced this behavior strange and deviant from his standard. During a next visit from my aunt in presence of my grandfather I already Did feel ashamed.

I realize see and understand that I wanted to avoid a hug out of shame because I wanted to avoid my grandfather’s reaction, because in his opion it was straings to hugg, kiss eachother and showing affection.

My life experience with giving a hugg and showing affection became resistance because of my assumption ‘when I hugg show my affection it’s strange that’s why I feel ashamed.’

So I missed this attention that’s why I was feeling frustrated and insecure because I was longing for positive feedback and positive understanding for my emotions and feelings after experiencing school Events and the need talk about those events Supplemented by understanding and physical Affection Such as a hugg from my parents or grandparents.

Eqafe

2020

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words