Day 522 What I think is right.

‘My Acceptance and Allowed thinking insinuates -‘I think I will be what others want me to be because my perception and observations are correct.’ But: ‘Which influence has my significance at my images which manifest my world?

What influence does have my meaning what I project on my images that manifest and represents my world?

‘Expressing my inner world also changes the way I look at myself. It can be a relief to write something off of you. Sometimes you notice that something is bothering you more than you thought when you told about it. Only when you give expression to what is going on inside, you will gain a clearer awareness of your thoughts and changes in mood.

So What can we learn from people who have not learned how to communicate their needs?

Be who you needed when you were younger.

This not learned how to communicate my needs became a decision I once made with a reason. We valued our needs as symbols and representations.

I realize see and understand that I Not learned how to communicate my needs.
I realize see and understand that I manifest Needs that can be positive.
I realize see and understand that I manifest Needs that can be negative. The first steps one has to do is become aware that you manifest inner need.

I realize see and understand that I feel anxious and insecure in contacts with other people. I have little faith in myself to start something alone such as telling what I want to achieve. Because I’m not sure about my abilitie to communicate and stand for what I want to achieve. So I unconsciously made a choice. I Stopt telling others: ‘what do I need!’

When I’m going back to my life as a child. I grow up as a child in a family in which not everything runs smoothly. So I got stuck between my own needs and the needs of my educators. It changed my feeling and thinking about myself and the world.

In general I’ve been treated Underestimated.

When I asked or told something what people criticized with their eyes or spoken words or in the same moment decide that they start laughing about me (what I was needed) and physically looked away. So I started thinking I’m not get the attention I need.

They underestimate me. Because they laugh when I was vulnerable, because I told them what I needed. If people ask me a lot, I experience them as nagging. People who are enthusiastic and ask a lot of questions are people who nag and exaggerates.

In general I feel insecure, lonely and disappointed. Insecure because people start laughing and look into another direction. I guess They behave This way because I am not important enough to them. I’m not sure but it became my belief.

People did not listening and are not interested in what I feel or need. I am not sure but it became my belief. So because they ignored me I did not trusted myself any longer to share my needs, because I was disappointed in the honesty of people.

Because of my assumptions I did not allowed myself to direct my physical body and Beingness. They (the people in my environment) showed me different appearances. They showed me different appearances to which they attached the same values.

Read Victor’s blog: https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2017/10/16/day-444-insecurity-not-seeing-me/amp/

That is why I feel lonely. People never where honestly interested in how I feel about the things which where and are important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I feel lonely because People never where honestly interested in how I feel about the things which where and are important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I focus at others and blame them and behave like a victim which is interested in that others show me how I feel, use it as a excuse to walk not the things which where and are important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself Because of my assumptions I did not allowed myself to direct my physical body and Beingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that did not direct myself physically and as my Beingness because the people in my environment showed me different appearances which made me think insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have start thinking insecure because people in my life showed me different appearances to which they attached the same values.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blamed others that they never really listened to me because I didn’t told them what I needed and longing for. If and when I am not communicate what I need, I Stop and Breath.

I realize see and understand that I Not learned how to communicate my needs.
I realize see and understand that I manifest Needs that can be positive.
I realize see and understand that I manifest Needs that can be negative. I realize see and understand that The first steps one has to do and make by writing is become aware what is the startingpoint of our accepted and allowed inner needs.

I realize see and understand that I feel anxious and insecure in contacts with other people. I have little faith in myself to start something alone such as telling what I want to achieve. Because I’m not sure about my abilitie to communicate and stand for what I want to achieve. So I unconsciously made a choice. I Stopt telling others: ‘what do I need!’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to represent my reality by creating a world that takes shape in a certain language I do not tell anyone else what I needed and longing for because they will ignore me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there is no access to reality outside of these representations or symbolizations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted being like and seeing as language representations or symbolisations.The social embedding of language and that of speech determine my being in a fundamental and radical way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my being is determined in a fundamental and radical way by the group, by the other, by the language, I am in the grip of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I mainly live as the object of my mind since feelings, emotions and actions in me depend on my ideas, only as like my language feeds me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the image I sketched of myself as a living being who is able to explain the world and myself and thus have to remember and not forget that I have the possibility of self-determination.

I commit myself that I have to become aware what is the startingpoint of my accepted and allowed inner needs and translate them into correction Living words statements ‘What’s best for me is best for All Life’.

Dag 512 doubt.

Please read previous blog for more context.

Most of my days I focused at imperfection ‘I do not have where I am longing for’.

So when I want to realize something I look at it true the eyes of the imperfection scenario in my mind. To step out the imperfection and blaming myself startingpoint ‘I do not have’, what I want to achieve will never good enough.

But, First I need to Self-forgive my thoughts, feelings and emotions, the energy of my accepted assumption, the allowance of my mind existence beliefs ‘what I do not have but longing for I will never be able to gain and achieve’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not finds it scary to enter the unknown but rather to leave the known.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not leaving the what I known thinking ‘what I do not have and longing for’, because I am thinking ‘I will never shall achieve it’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I realize see and understand that I behave and treat myself dishonest because I am thinking where I am longing for I will never be able to gain and achieve it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I will never be able to gain and achieve where I am longing for because I am not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am thinking ‘because I am not good enough I will never be able to gain and achieve where I am longing for.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I now know what I have, but I do not know what I will get because I do not change my resistance.

If and when I am Doubt because I don’t know what I want to realize, I Stop and Breath.

I realize see and understand that the energy of doubt perhaps shows me the way out.

I commit myself that I will use the energy of Doubt Character for realize long-term goals.

I commit myself to get through my defenses, the best way I know to approach such an impasse, is because of my writing, wherein I slow down, I realize then ‘I’m vulnerably’ be honestly look into my mind and finding the starting point of manifestation. So by writing I create an honest mind because of the self forgiveness. I ask myself ‘Which truth do I find behind my accepted and allowed mind scenario’s?’ lol.

See next blog dag 513.