Caregivers dealt with me on an unpleasant way. So what they avoided was treating me pleasantly. They dealt with me in a negative unpleasant way’. So I started longing for the pleasant way. The better positive way. The way caregivers should care there kid.
The unpleasant ‘they dealt with me on an unpleasant way’, as Beingness I created thoughts, such as I’m longing for the pleasant way. My mind thoughts became backchats. People did not treat me pleasantly so they will always treat me unpleasant.
My caregivers treat me unpleasant so the message was I am not good enough because what I am doing is never good enough, they treat me unpleasant because I am not worthy.
This message, my interpretation, became the ‘I am the not worthy character.’ This character provided me with thoughts which became assumptions: because I was treated unpleasantly, I fail as a person and that hurts. In general: I’m a failure.
And what we want is to avoid pain. The way we can avoid pain is to avoid contact and step into an safezone, an isolated environment. Far away from the people which show me my accepted pain. So I allowed myself step in to the alcohol addiction or safezone avoidance charaters.
So this mind decision became that I accepted and allowed myself to avoid a healthy physical body. What we still want in the mean time memory time, is that our caregivers treat us in a pleasant way.
Every time I go out of contact in a difficult situation Is that because of the negative thoughts I started thinking about myself. Thoughts originated when I observed and absorbed from my environment in my childhood.
Getting out of contact, which became accepted and allowed habit. Which automatically pops up from my mind, patterns which I created as thoughts and therefore nothing else then a way of thinking going the easy way and allow myself the habit thought it’s been my parents they failed. And so I started act like an failure.
I now know that my negative thoughts about myself causes unpleasant feelings. And then my inner mind experience makes that I react defensive and then decide that I withdraw from contact.
The passively-agressive character pops up. Negative thoughts that cause, I feel powerlessness, I feel incomprehension, I feel lonely, I feel fear, I feel sadness, I feel anger or I just think…Forget it, never mind!
Never mind and “don’t think about it.” It usually means that a statement or request ‘my caregivers not treating me pleasantly’ has been withdrawn or somehow made unimportant for further consideration.
Pleasantly withdrawn made pleasantly unimportant for further consideration, and to feel pleasant, instead of a failure, I started pleasing or save people instead feeling unpleasant and unsafe.