I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself what I observe in an-other, see as ‘that differs’ because I depend on my inner experience which I label as ‘the truth.’
Within the ‘I was Pissed Package’, the package gives me back my Determined knowledge as backchat ‘when an-other acts different as my expectation, then my mind is representing me the energy of accepted anger, resentment, dissapointment, disrespect, disobedience and blame.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I’ve allowed that I have intimidated myself many times.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experienced many times and moments of intimidation, which started with the first allowance of intimidation.
What differs as an-other represents my hated, harm, blame and shame cream, such as virtuous behavior my teachers told me is better than non-virtuous behavior. When you are nice, Loving and peaceful you live your life virtuous. But I guess I was Naïve. I was thinking unconditional Support exist. Without a performance obligation.
So do you think that unconditional Support exist, without a performance obligation?
Then I was Reading about some words the Dalai lama wrote: when one is not naive one cannot learn something new.
Then I think back at my Education from my parents told me be patient, friendly, speak with two words and listen to the elder people. What my parents told me differs from there acting in here. They where violent instead friendly when arguing with eachother. Not patient that’s why they fight and drink alcohol too suppress, what?
Then there is Nonviolent Communication where I was hoping for ad a child. Nonviolent communication tells, learning us to say what we want to say and listen to what the other person has to say.
What I didn’t learn during my childhood is how can I deal with emotions and how I can really connect with my interlocutor. I realize that my feelings and wishes will teached me to express myself clearly by avoiding violent communication.
What I learned from running away during conflicts is my resistance that I manifest through conflict. In some words said ‘ignorantly, my non-skilled, not yet aware knowledgeable body and Beingness was subjected to the information of the parenting from my educators.
My intuitive Naivety told me what’s going here is wrong. In fact, the way they act, Became the mirror I looked in.
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