Dag 520 Jan’s suffering.

Jan discovers that there is a lot of suffering behind his uncertainty. Jan has the tendency to be, what he is thinking others want him to be.

Jan realizes, sees and understand that he wants to feel less insecure. Jan feels so troubled by uncertainty that this hinders him in his daily life. He avoids certain situations and he often behaves differently than he would like. Jan feels insecure because his observation and interpretation of his colleague focus at competition not at working together.

Competition: Jan wants to get ‘because he is longing for’ appreciation from and that his chief at work values him as ‘much more better’ then and gives him authority to decide and make decisions over, for and where his colleague has to listening to.

Jan has the tendency to be, what he is thinking others want him to be

Jan who feels safe to express his feelings by sharing his problems during his writings. The Desteni writing process offers Jan the space to Selfhonestly find out what exactly he feels in the situations he describes in his blogs. In this way he can process his experiences and there is room for finding a solution.
A buddy does not send and never gives advice. A buddy assumes the self-healing capacity of the person.

Jan himself comes to certain insights and solutions. The most important thing for Jan is to improve his ‘Attention for strengthening of his self regulation skills’.

The most important thing for Jan is to improve his skills and ‘Attention for strengthening his selfregulation’.

Jan knows that ‘offering support only works if is met at a few conditions.’

Writing down the conditions which create the accepted and allowed information which displays your mind problems.

Offering an environment that in all aspects breathes the atmosphere of promoting Autonomous Self-regulation is the most likely that interventions will be effective and produce lasting results. Like the principles of housingfirst shows.

Only when the mutual relationships are perceived as adequate by the participants, by demonstrating empathy and trust and by giving feedback, is there a good chance that interventions are meaningful, participants are willing to cooperate and the risk of adverse effects is reduced.

The risk of side effects reduces, when the sense of coercion from the participant disappears, this because of the willingness of the buddy who decides to let disappear his influence to want control the autonomy of the participant.

The buddy has to Be aware of the negative sense of coercion, a experience and feeling which the participant experienced and accepted during his youth. On their own two feet, starting point and source of inspiration for support.

One can and first has to change his mind writings of acceptance and allowance.

Jan does not longer avoids certain situations because his Self-Honestly writings, Being Aware and Present because of the self forgiveness, the Acceptance and allowance, realizations and new goals Commitment, Ingredients for an adequate support.

The prisoner character isn’t just ‘the crook or the perpetrator’ the role of the prisoner is one of their possible roles. So ‘the prisoner doesn’t exist’. To participate in society again, we first have to approach people as equal and Oneness Beingness, look behind the different ‘meanings’ and characteristics we classify people with.

Emancipation (from the Latin emancipatio) is the pursuit of a full place in society from a disadvantaged position. This is possible through equal rights freed from the patient or disorder, get lost of the accepted and allowed disorder or specific characters, achieved by Selfhonestly and Self-forgiveness writing.