Dag 355 Avoidance turning away

Avoidance – turning away, dodging, shunning.

Dance to avoid some risk.

Today I realized something in me after I made my decission that I avoid go to an meeting appoitment. After I did this turn away behave, this realization came up.I realize, see and understand I am not happy with this turn into my mind and regret my behave. I know I realy knowing I am still learning from my journey into equility Life.

Thus after I made my walk and turn away descission an thought realization came up into my mind. I realized I keep away from doing this specific something because I am in fear. Thus I am investigate how loyal are people to themselves, the way in which they concerning and really ready giving me affection, support, understanding and listening ears after asking me why did you not show up today.

I realize, see and understand I am examine which meaning I have not go to this meeting appointment today because I am expecting something within me, longing for others will/should give me, or not, protection, reflected by my fear projection.

Because last week I had an appointment with someone else from this todays organization and therefore I am thinking I am not allowed/welcom and they do not let me go inside today.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself avoid go to an appointment I made expecting I am not allowed/welcom.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself thinking I am not welcom in this world and reality that’s why they do not let me in and when they let me in I am still afraid for the unknowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself apply myself to my imaginary thought and image I will be denied by the doorman at my arrival after my access card which I place in front a sensor reflects green lights and today I saw this already in my mind will give me red light and after this an angry doorman.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have made my descission turning away from my responsibility go to this meeting appointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself investigate what reactions people have in response to my choice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the response I am longing for is which meaning someone else attaches after I avoid going tot his appointment and being not involved to my commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself investigate others loyalty thinking shall and did they really missed my todays presence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself my current behave testing other peoples reactions after I decide not go to todays appointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I justify my behavior because I want to test reactions of others whether they are impaired willing to look after my todays welfare.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I test their understanding

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself testing others whether they are concerned about my well-being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I again decided to test people’s reactions after my decision I realize, see and understandthat I gota lot of criticismofmyfather

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself my I used criticism as a motif to test others loyalty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I am still longing or/and expecting the possibility that I may or may not get criticism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I have think I may or I may not get criticism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I am thinking I may or I may not get criticism from others so I think I have to investigate them and now you see their bad reality Jan because from others I always get, because I am still thinking they give me this criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I give me this criticism expectation because I am also longing for their understanding and unconditional, absolute, unqualified, implicit, unconditioned support which is not subject to any negative condition/criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I am still expecting the negative criticism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself I am still longing the positive unconditional support and understanding which is no longer charged with criticism.

When and I see myself longing the positive unconditional support and understanding from others, I stop, I breath.

When and I see myself expecting the negative criticism, I stop, I breath.

I realize, see and understand I am still involved into my own longing and my own suppressed expectations getting loyal support and understanding from others.

And thus I commit myself support others with understanding giving them the support, the directive equality Living words which I live in my Life, world and reality, not longer turning away from this direction and walk my unconditional support and understanding and I’ve decided that it’s time to stop hiding by walking my avoidance dance and want to stand for equility and oneness.

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